Goodbye to You – Michelle Branch
I know it sounds stupid, given all the real tragedy going on right now in the world, but for some reason the thing that managed to tear me apart tonight is an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sometimes art can reveal something about “real” life with a strength that nothing else can (and no, I don’t think it’s at all ridiculous to call Buffy art).
The episode was “Tabula Rasa” from season 6 (the worst season I’ve watched yet, apart from this episode and the musical one prior to it). Like most of the best episodes, it mixes humor and tragedy with most of the plot being a hilarious (if not entirely original) amnesia story. But the fun and games only make the climax all the more gut-wrenching – when everyone regains their memories, Giles leaves, and Tara breaks up with Willow.
As I’ve commented before, Tara is my favorite character on the show, and Willow (until recently) is my second favorite. Tara’s growth from the shy and awkward witch of season 4 into the brilliant, beautiful, confident and loving woman in season 6 is a big part of what made these years good. And the skill with which Joss Whedon and company let the relationship between Willow and Tara develop is truly amazing.
Many people complain that, for all of the skill they had in portraying a gay relationship positively as it developed, they only buy into the worst stereotypes by having it end badly (and I’ve seen the end of season 6, so I know it only gets worse and worse). Intentionally or not, it can be argued that this feeds into the subtle belief that such relationships are wrong and can only end in disaster. This is especially the case here because the instigation for the trouble is Willow’s increasingly unhealthy addiction to magic, and in previous seasons, magic had been a subtle and powerful metaphor for sex, a way of portraying Willow and Tara’s developing love.
That magic is what ultimately drives them apart might suggest that a fundamental doom in their lesbian relationship. However, I think that fundamentally misreads Buffy. On this show, everyone’s relationships end badly. Things go bad for Willow and Tara because that’s how it goes in real life. Things fall apart, relationships die, and we make terrible mistakes.
Ultimately that’s why it cuts so deeply, because it is real. You come to know and love these characters and feel empathy for their pain because it reminds us so much of our own pain. It’s a little silly that it sometimes takes a fictional TV show about vampires to make our emotions crystallize, but there it is. Here’s the scene that really gets to me, set perfectly to one of my favorite songs.
Watching Tara pack things, watching such a beautiful thing end…as Ken Kesey once said “it’s the truth, even if it didn’t happen.”