50 songs for 50 states: Rhode Island

Providence Is – The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Tucked away underneath Massachusetts, Rhode Island is often forgotten. The smallest state, featuring few major cultural landmarks (apart from the 90s classic Wings, of course), it’s generally tossed into the generic category of New England and left as good. But I want to stick up for the state. It’s partly personal. My family came from Rhode Island, going all the way back to its founding (a certain Thomas Olney was one of the co-founders of the original colony), and continuing up through to my grandfather who taught at the University of Rhode Island.

I never lived there myself, but family roots run deep. So I scoured deep, trying to find a song to really do justice. Only to ultimately end up right back where I started, with a perfectly nice but fairly inessential track from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, buried on the 2001 Warped Tour compilation album.

While there’s nothing particularly specific to Rhode Island here – the story of settling down and settling in could apply to virtually any city in the country – it communicates a sense of a city that will never really escape from the shadow of its more famous neighbors. A city in which plenty of lives are being lived, plenty of stories are being told, plenty of dreams are being deferred and plenty of promises being forgotten.

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50 songs for 50 states: Pennsylvania

A song about growing up, leaving home, and eventually coming back to discover that nothing ever really stays the same. The idyllic memories of childhood are paved over, partly by suburban sprawl, but also partly by the simple progress of time. You look around and see a new generation occupying the space, trampling on your memories with the carelessness of one who has never known anything else.

There’s something intensely powerful about image of an old cemetery, quiet and empty, a haunt for the young men and women of the town to ‘ditch this noisy century’ – which is eventually vanquished by the unending need for growth. And all you can do is look and wonder…’what did they do with the bodies?’

It’s a story so universal that it could be set anywhere. But this song is about growing up on the banks of the Susquehanna. And the placement is telling. Susquehanna is Len’api, an Algonquian language, and it represents a history of continual displacement, with generations of conflict and assimilation that preceded the arrival of white settlers, and then a whole new round of conflict and assimilation that followed. That such conquest now takes place in the form of gas stations and subdivisions certainly makes the experience of strangeness and loss feel less consequential, but it also establishes a connection over the centuries. The violence has been hidden, but still lingers in these ghostly echoes.

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50 songs for 50 states: Oregon

For all that Portland has become an ironic reference (thanks in no small part to Carrie Brownstein’s later work on Portlandia), it really is one of the great American cities. And possibly never more so than in the late 90s and early 2000s, before it had become a Thing, and could breathe comfortably as a strange and beautiful city of roses and bookstores and diners and strip clubs. A city where coyotes boarded the light rail, where young people from all around could congregate and finally feel at home, where the whole glorious mélange could wander Burnside looking for a show, a drink, and some of the best Thai food this side of the Pacific.

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Review: The Day – Midnight Parade

We’re less than a month into 2019 and already have a strong contender for album of the year. The debut record from The Day, a collaboration between Laura Loeters and Gregor Sonnenberg, is almost the textbook example of perfect dream pop—shimmering, tender, infused with a deep sense of empathy and care. In it I hear everything I’ve ever loved about the mid-90s Sarah Records, joining forces with all the wonderful textures of the great Labrador Records bands of the mid 2000s. The result is a joyous symphony, which feels intimate and deeply personal, while also conveying a sense of universality.

That duality is partly a function of the songwriting, which is superb. But it’s also a testament to the impeccable nature of the production. There’s a sense of great distance in the open textures here. You can breathe it in as a whole gestalt thing, and feel a sense of connection across the grand expanses of space and time. Like any good shoegaze record, it lends itself this sort of abstraction. At the same time, like any good jangle pop record, it’s a perfect accompaniment to an afternoon drive when all you want is a wash of joyous sound.

But it’s also the sort of record that lends itself to cozying up by a fire with some good headphones. Because as you dig into every nook and cranny, you discover just how precisely all the details have been rendered. Every note, every drum fill, every slight pause…they’re all laid down with intention and care.

It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a song that’s filled me with the same sort of unmediated joy as We Killed Our Hearts. But I also struggle to think of a song that’s so perfectly blended anthemic grandeur and quiet intimacy as Berlin. And yet these descriptions apply to virtually every song on the record. Island is as delicate as it is luxurious. Grow is a bopper, which also feels deeply personal. The Years is somehow intensely sad and joyful at the same time.

I could go on with gushing praise about every song here, but in the end the unifying theme of Midnight Parade is pretty simple: it offers a sense of deep melancholy tempered by a powerful and unrelenting faith in the potential for human beings to reach across barriers and find reasons to love. And, to be honest, it’s hard to think of a message that’s more important in 2019.

There are still eleven months of what I’m sure will be great music to come, but I think it’s possible I’ve already settled on my favorite album of the year.

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Top 30 albums of 2018

2018 has been a year of reckoning. A year for asking questions. A year for insisting on getting answers. A year of rage. Of deep, soul-destroying sadness, of hopelessness and loss. A year for those who have power and privilege to finally start to think seriously about what it means for those without. But also a year for those who have been victimized to reassert their agency, to define new roles and new possibilities.

This was all there in the music, of course. As is always the case, art follows life. Or maybe life follows art. Either way, all the best music these days is being made by women, by people of color, by queer folks and nonbinary folks. You’ll still find a couple white dudes with guitars on this list, but not many. The world of popular music is more diverse than its ever been, and is far better because of it.

As always, this is a list of my favorites. I make no claim that these are objectively the best. They’re just the ones I liked the most.

30. MogwaiKin

Mogwai records fall in a pretty narrow band for me. I always enjoy them, but never regard them as truly essential. And Kin is just about the median Mogwai record. That doesn’t mean its boring. Just that it is exactly as good as I expected it would be. Its most immediately striking songs are the louder and more aggressive ones.  Flee sounds like a shootout in an industrial factory, for example, while Donuts conveys the sense of scaling a mountain in the middle of a blizzard. The title track also includes an explosive final movement in which the building tension is unleashed. Still, it’s the restrained and introspective moments that ultimately hit the hardest, with Funeral Pyre a notable case. It’s deeply meditative, with a sliver of menace lurking in the shadows, and probably the most affecting track on the record.

Highlights: Funeral Pyre, Eli’s Theme, Donuts, Miscreants

29. GoalkeeperBad Times Don’t Last

You could drop this EP into the middle of a late 90s Gap commercial and no one would blink an eye. I mean that as a compliment, though a slightly guarded one. It’s not much of an innovation on the genre, but so what? There world can always use a little more enthusiastic three-chord punk rock.

Highlights: Sunshine, Chances, Nothing At All

28. Rita OraPhoenix

The first six songs would make an absolutely killer EP. Pure pop joy, all wrapped up in about 20 minutes. The back half is arguably more interesting musically, experimenting a bit more with tempo, genre, and emotional stakes. But, to my ears, none of it really sticks the landing. I’ll stick with Side A, and just put it on repeat.

Highlights: Your Song, Anywhere, Only Want You, New Look

27. The BethsFuture Me Hates Me

A timeless power pop record, which is full of hints and references to different eras but which is never beholden to any of them. It simply is what it is: a record full of big, joyous guitar rock. For me, they absolutely scratch the itch that came with the dissolution of Allo Darlin. But you’re welcome to fill in any reference—Big Star, Posies, Gin Blossoms, New Pornographers, Badfinger. It’s all here.

Highlights: Future Me Hates Me, Happy Unhappy, Less Than Thou, Whatever

26. opiouSYZYGY 01

I have only recently learned about the existence of glitch-hop, and would have a difficult time explaining precisely what that even means. All I can really say is that it’s a serious trip. In terms of ambition and structure, this is more or less a drum and bass record, but there is a whole lot more going on than just that. Ginger Lizard is essentially a classic funk track, with about fifty additional elements layered on top. Botrok is, well, it pretty much sounds like what it says on the tin. And Dalmations is an introspective synth soundscape with some swarming horns. I have to be in the right mood to enjoy this album, but when I am, it’s incandescent.

Highlights: Ginger Lizard, Botrok, Boogie Latch

25. Ogikubo StationWe Can Pretend Like

We often look to popular cultures for heroes, when the real heroes are living far more normal lives. That said, if you wanted to identify a hero within the music business, you could do a lot worse than looking to Mike Park. Imagine a kid in the 80s, inspired by seeing people of color on the stage playing punk music and making people happy. And so he starts a record label, because he wants there to be place in the world for bands to go who aren’t ready to sign their lives over to the responsibilities and limitations of a major label. Over all those years, he continues to run this record label out of his mother’s basement, incubating generation after generation of new bands. And still writing music of his own!

Well, Ogikubo Station is one of Park’s many projects these days. A joint venture with Maura Weaver of Mixtapes, which plays very well on both of their strengths. It’s a relentlessly sweet and joyful record—the product of two people with plenty of experience in making music about how to find hope even in the darkest of times.  The result is wonderfully simple: no frills, no gimmicks, just some pretty songs that hit you hard and then step aside so you can continue with your day.

If you grew up in the last few decades and enjoyed basically any punk or ska music, you’re probably away of Park’s influence, even if you don’t know him directly. If so, go ahead and check out this record—or one of the dozens of other great albums from Asian Man. If we want music to be a place for kids to find a new home, a new community of love and support, this is the kind of thing we really ought to support.

Highlights: I’ve Been Thinking of St. Louis, Rest Before We Go To War, Take a Piece Of All That’s Good, Drowning At The Watering Hole

24. Mimi PageDark Before the Dawn EP

I will never not love a record from Mimi Page. She writes the songs that fill the celestial spheres, the places we visit in our dreams. There’s a gentle longing here, and just a hint of darkness. But not the sort of darkness that threatens to overwhelm you. It’s the darkness that comes when you close your eyes and listen for the breath that flows between you and everything else.

Highlights: Cosmic Hymn of Light, Dark Before the Dawn, Flowing

23. RestorationsLP5000

It evokes the punk side of Springsteen, with rich guitar riffs dancing and weaving between machinegun bursts of percussion. You’ll find the same sheen as a War on Drugs record, the same crisp percussion as a National record, and the same clean and dynamic guitar sound you’d expect from Frightened Rabbit. But it’s not just about its references. This is also very much a record about its own space and its own time. A time of great doubt, great pain, and an almost limitless sense of fear about what might come next.

Because the deep truth here is that these songs are absolutely full of pent-up rage, which is tightly coiled, never really finding any sort of release. In many ways, this makes for a frustrating listening experience. There are movements that promise catharsis and refuse to deliver. It’s agonizing. On the other hand, there is a feeling of deep pathos in the performance of these tight circles. To listen is to edge ourselves around the anger, trying to maintain a grip on your sense of self, insisting on a sort of stability in the face of a world that is completely, relentlessly careless.

Highlights: Nonbeliever, The Red Door, St.

22. DustingsSomatic Alterations

A little bit dream pop, a little bit shoegaze, and a little bit ambient. It’s a time-tested combination, and while Dustings doesn’t add anything particularly new to the equation, that doesn’t make this album any less affecting. This is not a record that reaches out and shakes you by the shoulders demanding your attention. It’s one that sneaks up quietly, nudging its way toward the edge of your consciousness. Pleasant, but elusive. Friendly, but mysterious. An album of small gestures and whispered missives. And while it does let loose more than a few times, the explosion always feels tightly contained–like a tornado that whips through town and destroys one building while leaving the ones on either side completely untouched.

Highlights: Murmured Hymn for Defocused Eyes, Audrey, Peace in Enduring, Delicate Decay

21. Remember SportsSlow Buzz

Another great band from the booming Philadelphia music scene, Remember Sports offer the sort of hook-heavy, pop-adjacent punk music that has been the hallmark of 20-something post-college types for decades. But they do a damn fine job of it. And there’s a reason this genre has such enduring appeal. It’s a time of major change, with a lot of big questions and fears, but also a lot of hope. The future is still wide open, and there’s something incredibly cathartic about trying to put it all down into song.

Highlights: Up From Below, The 1 Bad Man, Calling Out, Otherwise

20. Zoe KeatingSnowmelt EP

Snowmelt is a case of real truth in advertising. Not since Here Comes the Sun has a record more perfectly expressed the feeling of that springtime thaw: when the air is still fresh and clean, when you step outside and feel the uncontainable joy of the sun on your cheek and the knowledge that a new year stands ahead of you. When you can still believe that this year really will be the one that everything comes together. There’s plenty of reason for fear, plenty of reason for skepticism, plenty of reason to doubt. But Snowmelt is a reminder that there is also always a glimmer of hope, even in the darkest night.

It’s only a short EP, but even over the course of four songs, Keating reminds us of just how much can be accomplished with a cello and a series of tape loops. I can only hope that this is a sign that she’s returned to a world of musical productivity, and will grace us with a full-length soon.

Highlights: They’re all great, but Forte is the centerpiece

19. Hilary WoodsColt

The opening two are the strongest start to a record in a very, very long time. A full album that kept pace with them wouldn’t just be one of the best of 2018; it would be one of the best ever made. Eerie, haunting, beautiful beyond words. These are the stuff dreams are made of.  And still, even if the rest of the record doesn’t quite match up to the opening, there’s still plenty worth exploring, including the stately Black Rainbow, which feels like an interpellation of the Twin Peaks theme, and the ghostly Kith which would make an excellent addition to the soundtrack for The Mists of Avalon, whenever HBO gets around to turning it into a TV series.

Highlights: Prodigal Dog, Inhaler

18. PhosphorescentC’est La Vie

Each new Phosphorescent record builds out the atmospherics a bit more than the past. This time around, Matthew Houck has built some truly monumental soundscapes, which feel like they’re unfolding in quite a few more dimensions than just the three we can fully perceive. The stage is held aloft by two supports that bookend the interior songs—wordless jams that end up being some of the most affecting music that Houck has ever created.

But the heart of the record, for better and occasionally for worse, is the middle seven tracks. There’s plenty to love here, though at times you can’t help but wish he might dial everything back one or two degrees so that the underlying themes can reassert themselves. But for the most part, his dusty voice and the delicate application of some pedal steel is enough to keep things on track. And when he does hit the mark, he really nails it. Christmas Down Under is eerie, strange, and extremely compelling. New Birth in New England takes you a jaunty ride through two events: meeting his future wife and the birth of their first child, and the whole thing sounds eerily like a Paul Simon cover.

Highlights: C’est La Vie No.2, Black Waves / Silver Moon, New Birth in New England, Christmas Down Under

17. Jon HopkinsSingularity

Hopkins is a top-notch sound designer, and he succeeds in building a universe of twisting, turning, glitches and thumping beats. It’s occasionally disconcerting, as notes fail to settle into anticipated grooves, but there’s something deeply satisfying about the disconnect. Your body wants to move, but your mind has trouble following along. In that separation, a kernel of understanding begins to form.

I spent a lot of time with this record over the summer. It was an excellent companion as I was sitting in coffee shops trying to write. I haven’t found myself going back to it much since then, though.  It definitely strikes me as a record that will go through ebbs and lulls. But I look forward to the time when I feel the urge to reach back out and see if it might be possible to touch the sky.

Highlights: Luminous Beings, Everything Connected, Feel First Life, Singularity

16. Hayley Kiyoko – Expectations

The album is called Expectations, because those are precisely what it works so hard to subvert. On first glance, this is a relatively straightforward pop record from a former teen star. But there’s just so much nested within it: big boisterous songs with perfect hooks, slinky vocal lines that dance elusively around you, interludes of dreamlike reverie, funk beats, and on and on. And the expectations game is also a deep part of the record’s self-reflection. Kiyoko, after all, is queer, and has spoken powerfully about the importance of pop culture figures to represent that normality of lesbian identity. Which makes this record is a performative interruption of the expectations of heteronormativity. That’s part of what makes it such an interesting and engaging record, despite its tendency to work within some pretty common (maybe even banal) tropes of pop music. Because the personal is always political, and there’s no way to get around that fact.

Highlights: Under the Blue / Take Me In, He’ll Never Love You, What I Need, Curious

15. Jenn ChampionSingle Rider

On her last record, Jenn Champion took a major turn toward the pop aesthetic. The former Carissa’s Wierd singer was never going to fully tidy up the ragged edges, but it was striking how smoothly she was able to slide into a different style. On Single Rider, she continues that evolution, offering what is essentially a pure pop record, though one very much informed by the likes of Erasure or M83. It’s a delightful experience, particularly on the opening two tracks which are cool and pure as a fresh mountain stream. Taken as a whole, the record drags a bit if you go straight through, and could perhaps have used a little bit more diversity in sonic range. The simple piano-balled Bleed, for example, feels like a wonderful breath of air when it pops up toward the end of the record. One or two more departures along those lines might have been enough to turn a lovely record into a true show-stopper.

Highlights: O.M.G. (I’m All Over It), You Knew, Bleed, Never Giving In

14. GrouperGrid of Points

Like all of Liz Harris’s work, this is a work of distance and separation. Discovering meaning in a Grouper song is never easy; the words are muffled, the emotions concealed. For all its sparseness, there’s a deep guardedness about her music—as if it contains a secret that can only be concealed by laying it in plain sight.

Sometimes that means laying a simple melody out, and then playing with its sonic textures to create a sense of unquiet tension. But here, the elusiveness relies on no production elements. These songs are stripped completely bare. It’s simply her and a piano, playing in what sounds like it might be a distant forest clearing. In a pitch-dark night, hundreds of miles removed from civilization, she whispers truths so profound that words cannot possibly contain them. But it’s not important to understand. It’s only important to feel it all wash over you.

Highlights: Driving, Thanksgiving Song, Blouse, Parking Lot

13. Nicki MinajQueen

An album that could have used some heavy editing, but which still contains enough pieces of genius to deserve serious attention. Because at the end of the day, Minaj is an exciting artist precisely because she’s willing to take on so many roles, so many perspectives, so many chances. And if the final product is a little overstuffed, it just means every listener is free to construct their own 11 track ‘just the good bits’ version of Queen. For me, that means shying away from a lot of the processed pop stuff, which mostly falls pretty flat to my ears. But my condensed Queen is filled with gems, starting with the opener Ganja Burn – the chillest diss track I’ve heard in a long time – and the gloriously meta Barbie Dreams. The middle is held up by the beautiful Bed, a collaboration with Ariana Grande, the strutting Chun-Li and the compact aggression of Good Form. And it’s all brought together at the end by the blissed out breakup anthem of Nip Tuck and the I’ll-see-my-way-out torch song Come See About Me.

Highlights: Ganja Burn, Nip Tuck, Barbie Dreams, Bed

12. Beach House7

Much darker – both in terms of themes and sound – than much of their previous work, 7 feels like an appropriate response to a world that increasingly feels like it’s spinning out of control. This is still very clearly a Beach House record, with their classic sepia-tinged production and Victoria Legrand’s unmistakable voice, but they’re working with a bigger sonic palette. It doesn’t always work—the overlay of choral arrangements and a ticky-tacky percussion in L’Inconnue strikes me as particularly rough—but even on the tracks I don’t quite love, I appreciate the care that went into it. And there are plenty of major successes: the shoegazy propulsiveness of Dark Spring, the way Girl of the Year blends girl group pop of the 60s with a production style right of a Phil Collins record, the rich warmth of the guitar on Pay No Mind.

Highlights: Dark Spring, Last Ride, Girl of the Year, Pay No Mind

11. First Aid KitRuins

The next time this band releases a bad song, it will be the first time. Ruins feels a bit less cohesive than their last album, while also lacking the precocious, jaw-dropping adventurousness of The Lion’s Roar. Still, a modest slump for the Sisters Söderberg is good enough that it would constitute a crowning achievement for virtually anyone else. As always, the harmonies are impossibly pure. But this time around they worked with Tucker Martine, and you can sense his hand in the production: which is cleaner than their past work, with a bit more fluidity in the melding of classic folk and jangle-rock. I don’t know that I’d want them to keep working with Martine, but for this specific record, I think his touch works well.

Because ultimately, this record feels heavier than their other work. And I think that’s intentional. It’s a record about the experience of achieving success beyond your wildest dreams, and what it means to still find a way to move forward. It’s also a breakup record, in the classic sense. And that’s the delicate balance struck across many of the songs here—how to re-learn what it means to be you, when for so long your identity has been wrapped up in other things. In another person, in your desire to achieve success. When it’s all laid bare, what remains, and what does it all mean?

Highlights: It’s A Shame, My Wild Sweet Love, Rebel Heart, Nothing Has to Be True

10. Benoît PioulardMay / Deck Amber (with Ant’lrd)

I’m cheating a bit here, combining two releases from one of my favorite ambient artists. May is the real star here, for all that it’s only four songs long. But contained within those bare twenty minutes is the sound of galaxies forming, of planets coalescing, of plate tectonics. You feel the weight of time, which stretches far beyond any possibility of comprehension. And yet here, on a blue-green planet lost in the vastness of space, we exist. And if we will never truly comprehend the meaning of distance, perhaps we can still find some peace.

I’ve also included Deck Amber, a collaboration with Portland-based Ant’lrd, which strikes many of the same themes, but which feels a bit more grounded. If May feels like the sound of the entire universe breathing, Deck Amber offers the perspective of someone looking out upon that vast space, watching…and wondering.

Highlights: Moss Detail, Sixth Hour Bloom, Vacant, Docene

9. Rosanne CashShe Remembers Everything

At some point we’ll run out of superlatives to describe Rosanne Cash, who just keeps putting out fantastic albums, forty years after her first release. This is a darker record than her other recent efforts—both in theme and in production. And that’s saying something, given that she has most recently been struggling with death, and with the legacy of southern identity. But by turning her attention to a narrower range of questions—what it means to continue living, what it means to feel the past slipping away.

There’s nothing showy here. Unlike the last record—which felt to me like an elaborate set built to give proper context to When the Master Calls the Roll—this time Cash is playing everything tight to the vest. Each song offers a glimpse of the truth, but there is no master key. Much like life itself, where the best we can do is take the next step ahead of us, and hope that each day will bring some new wisdom. And maybe, if we’re truly lucky, a sense of belonging.

Highlights: The Parting Glass, Everyone But Me, The Only Thing Worth Fighting For, The Undiscovered Country

8. HammockUniversalis

Hammock are one of the surest bets in ambient/post-rock music. Every record is good, and each is distinct, though still notably a product of the same artist. I think Universalis is their best work yet. It was only released in the last few days, so I haven’t had enough time to truly dwell with it, but it strikes me as the final synthesis of a decade spent exploring different ways to evoke feelings of loss and belonging. It has the same sparseness of their early work, while also drawing in the warm melodies of their later work. Listening to Universalis is like being wrapped up in a cozy blanket while you stare out the window of a spaceship and watch the sun slowly turn from a glowing orb the dominates the sky into a tiny glimmer of light—just one more star among the vast array of the sky.

Highlights: Scattering Light, Clothed with Sky, Thirst, Universalis, Tremendum

7. Vanessa PetersFoxhole Prayers

An important record from one of my favorite artists. The melodies are top-notch and the production is high-quality. And the songwriting is amazingly deft. Peters is able to argue without ever coming across as didactic or judgmental. The music is driven sense of dread at the conditions of our world, but also infused with a deep and generous hope. It’s a record that challenges us to stop being careless: to do something, no matter how small, to make the world a kinder place.

All of which is to say: this is a powerfully topical record, one very much centered in 2018. But it’s also a timeless record. Because time is a great wheel and there’s nothing truly new under the sun. So if we want to understand why there is so much pain, we have to look inside, to seek out those parts of ourselves that we keep hidden for fear of what they might reveal. The dark parts, where fear dominates and suspicion reigns. But also the parts that remain hidden because we’ve never truly needed. Reservoirs of hope, compassion, faith, and resolve. We run from all of these pieces, both the dark and the light, because life is so much simpler without them. But in the end, she says in the final track, we are all “what we can’t outrun.” For good and for bad.

This is a dark record, but it’s not a cynical one. Nor is it joyless. It asks big, important questions, but does so with an incredible generosity, and playfulness. It’s a room with a fire and a warm meal for a weary traveler on the road. An offer to listen, in a world full of people all too ready to talk. A restless spirit pacing long into the night. And a challenge to all of us to remember: those who are careless with the hearts of others will often find great success, but they will rarely find satisfaction.

Highlights: Fight, What You Can’t Outrun, Carnival Barker, Just One of Them

6. Snail MailLush

Rock is generally a young person’s game. It takes a certain breathlessness to fully commit to the premise, something that is generally sanded away with time, as life grows more complex, as tensions reveal themselves and gray spaces take over your perception. And still, it’s always shocking when something this good comes from someone this young. At just 18 years old, Lindsey Jordan is living in two worlds. Her songs are immaculately produced—every note is precisely drawn, every beat hits right. But it still has that reckless need of someone with a million things to say, who simply can’t wait for it all to fall into place.

Listening to it the first time through, you’re tempted to categorize it as emo. Certainly it’s implied in the vocal range, which conveys that sense of desperation—the need to find some way of communicating a sense of emotional fragility that could never be contained by simple words on a page. But the more you dig in, the less appropriate that characterization feels. Because at the core, this isn’t a record about getting lost in emotions; it’s a record about precisely documenting them. The driving force here is the limitation of memory, which is always incomplete and often simply false. And so you record the pain, the longing, the false starts and broken promises. Not because you expect it to be a perfect accounting, but because it’s the only way to generate even a little bit of distance.

The result is an album steeped in irony, but all the more filled with pathos because of it. A series of vignettes in which a young woman stares at herself through the camera, picks apart her motives, poses questions, lobs accusations. All in the service of coming to terms with what it means to simply be in a world that seems so inhospitable.

Highlights: Full Control, Pristine, Heat Wave, Stick

5. Pistol AnniesInterstate Gospel

A delightful record, from three titans of the Americana scene: Miranda Lambert, Ashley Monroe, and Angaleena Presley. Interstate Gospel feels like a careening Thelma & Louise ride through the countryside. Its central theme: the world has done us wrong, and we have kept receipts. But don’t worry, we’re not going to do anything really bad. Probably.

But while they’re polishing their pistols and considering just what sort of story this is going to end up being, they’ll take some time to reflect on how everything got so thoroughly fucked up. The answer isn’t simple. It’s a whole constellation of forces, which convince a woman to settle so often that she never quite realizes every important piece has been eaten way. Until, eventually, you look around and realize: “I’m in the middle of the worst of it / These are the best years of my life.”

There are two columns, which provide the emotional core of the album. First: When I Was His Wife, where they each take a crack at the ways love convinces us to pull the wool over our eyes, and which closes with some of the loveliest “ooooh, ooooohs” you’ll ever hear. Second: Milkman, which forgoes any sort of archness and simply tells a desperately sad story of a daughter trying to see the world through her mother’s eyes.

Highlights: When I Was His Wife, Best Years of My Life, Milkman, Cheyenne, Masterpiece, Commissary

4. Alkaline TrioIs This Thing Cursed?

The trio bring all the propulsive energy of their early work, without ever sounding like a mere throwback. The melodies are great, the songwriting is top notch, and while it doesn’t have quite the same degree of untrammeled audacity as the songs they were writing in their early 20s – how could it? – it more than makes up the difference with a healthy dose of wisdom. More than anything else, it feels necessary in a way that nothing from this band has ever quite achieved. There’s an emotional heft here, a weightiness of spirit and subject, keenly balanced against the raucous energy of the music.

It’s a heavy album in many ways – dealing with subjects like depression and self-destruction (both personal and political) – but also a joyous one. A record which knows that music can’t release us from the pain that plagues us, but can help keep us afloat while we work on that slow process of self-healing. “I know you’re hurting,” it says. “I’m hurting too. But let’s sing together tonight anyway.”

Highlights: Demon and Division, Heart Attacks, Sweet Vampires, Goodbye Fire Island, Blackbird

3. Now, NowSaved

When I heard SGL last year, it immediately pierced my heart, and I couldn’t wait to hear what else this band would offer on a full-length. Once it arrived, I was not disappointed. For a pure pop album, the pace is generally pretty stately. So don’t come here looking for bangers. But do come for light stutter-step delivery and the glorious feeling of the sky opening up above while a thousand stars fall all around you. I try to resist the temptation to overuse the word ‘glimmering’ to describe this sort of music, but I just can’t help myself in this case. If ever there was a perfect record to soundtrack a montage of a young couple falling in love, it’s this. Picture them holding hands as they run down the street together, kissing for the first time as the bright lights swirl around them, falling into bed together as the entire world fades away to be replaced by the sense of two bodies moving together.

Highlights: SGL, Set It Free, MJ, Yours, Powder

2. Kacey MusgravesGolden Hour

Kacey Musgraves has done here what very few artists successfully manage: a career pivot toward gentle reflection without the slightest hint of the blandness that such a move so often brings. This record is light as air, soft as velvet, and deceptively simple.  The songs wash over you, cool to the touch like ocean waves on a hot summer day. It all feels so effortless that it takes more than a few listens to realize just how perfectly constructed these songs are. Just how precisely Musgraves is deploying her vocal talents to hit precisely the desired note. Just how well orchestrated every movement is.

This is a record with no life-changing things to say, no grand pronouncements on offer, and no major innovations in sound or texture. But for all that, it feels like a revelation. Particularly in the second half, which is defined by an almost preternatural sense of balance between emotional vulnerability and arch distance.

There’s no single song here that winds up and delivers the sort of punch as her earlier highlights. But that never feels like an absence. It’s a steadier record, one that reflects a greater sense of maturity, emotional confidence, and exercise of restraint.

It’s not quite a masterpiece (though I do think Musgraves has an all-time great in her future at some point), but it rather pointedly isn’t trying to be one. It’s simply a document of what it means to give up on trying to understand, categorize, and reflect on every failure.. And then to simply let yourself be, warts and all.

Highlights: Rainbow, Velvet Elvis, Space Cowboy, High Horse, Wonder Woman

1. CAMP COPEHow to Socialise & Make Friends

A bracing record, which details the burdens of living in a world that treats women’s bodies as commodities, to be used and discarded at whim. A world which cares deeply about appearing to be fair and just, but which lashes out with violence when you dare to ask when things are actually ever going to get better. A world in which the simple joys are enough to keep you afloat, no matter how much it all hurts.

I found myself coming back over and over to The Face of God this fall as I watched the Supreme Court confirmation process…thinking of just how much we ask of those who have been victimized. How little we are willing to listen. How certain we are that they must by lying. It fills me with rage, and with an unspeakable sadness, a longing for the world to be as gentle and as kind as my heart insists that it should be.

Wittgenstein famously said “Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.” CAMP COPE offers an alternative. Where one cannot speak, one must sing. And if you can find a couple friends to pound out a few bass riffs along the way, all the better.

Highlights: The Opener, The Face of God, How to Socialise & Make Friends, UFO Lighter, I’ve Got You

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Top 50 songs of 2018

My dominant theme of 2018 in music: tears. Songs that make you cry. Songs that insist on moving beyond crying. Music of redemption, of hope, of deep and untrammeled empathy. The struggle to cope with a world that continues to hand us unending suffering. The struggle to articulate the feelings of love and unity that come from staring into your child’s eyes for the first time.

As always, these are just my favorites. I make no claim that they were objectively the best. One song per artist.

50. Bad Guy – Hatchie

I spent a lot of time this summer walking around Berkeley, and this song was a regular companion on those strolls. It’s great music for wandering.

49. Daydream – Nancy Sin

There’s a timelessness here, an expression of innocence that lives on, stubbornly refusing to accede to the slings and arrows of fortune, holding out for the possibility of finding a way to stay present.

48. Reprieval – Eternal Summers

A deep breath. A hand to a cheek. A whispered goodbye.

47. Soft – Babygirl

If this had been released a couple decades ago, it probably would have been categorized as adult contemporary. These days, with our micro-niches, it’s probably luscious indie dreampop. Whatever the label, it goes down smooth and sweet.

46. The Saddest Little Waffle House in Eastern Pennsylvania – Worriers

I slept on the Worriers album last year, so failed to include it on last year’s list. Fortunately, they released an expanded version this year with a couple new songs, so I can at least partially rectify my mistake.

45. When I’m With Him – Empress Of

The effervescent beat and falsetto chorus balance against a deeply depressing lyric – about the sense of self-doubt and recrimination that comes from realizing that you don’t love someone the way they need to be loved. And the way you torture yourself trying to figure out what you did wrong to feel this way.

44. People Get Old – Lori McKenna

I don’t know if it’s just a function of where I’m at in life, but “you still think he’s forty-five and he still thinks that you’re a kid” strikes me as a genuinely cosmic line – reflecting a sort of deep truth that we all eventually have to face, which will feel brand new to everyone when they first encounter it, for all that it’s utterly universal.

43. Stranger – Frøkedal

Delightfully off-kilter: this song struts out from the Norwegian forests, ready to dance across the water and out to the deep blue ocean, leaving behind just a hint of stardust.

42. To My Dearest Wife – Lucero

A heartfelt rock song, from a band that’s written more than a few of them in their time.

41. Murmured Hymn for Defocused Eyes – Dustings

Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

40. Halls of Sarah – Neko Case

Neko Case has run out of fucks to give, and she is here to let you know.

39. Me & My Dog – Boygenius

I have to admit that I didn’t quite love the boygenius record the way I expected. It seems impossible, given how universally I adore everything Phoebe Bridgers touches – and how much I also like both Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker. But for whatever reason, the record as a whole kind of fell flat for me. Still, this song is undeniable.

38. Leave Him Now – Cloud Nothings

Cloud Nothings took a major step back toward their roots, after experimenting with a far more melodic (and occasionally spiritual) turn last year. In some cases, that made for a listening experience more abrasive than I really wanted. But on this track, the stripped back structure and frenetic energy works perfectly.

37. Unconditional Waltz – Calexico

A quiet afternoon on the porch. Chatting about nothing. Watching the condensation pool around the edge of your glass of iced tea. Taking pleasure in every moment you get to share with your loved ones.

36. The Parting Glass – Rosanne Cash

Cash is one of the great American songwriters, so it feels a little strange to say it but…my favorite song on this record is this old Irish ballad from the 18th century, which is only available on the deluxe addition. Good night and joy be with you all, indeed.

35. Under the Blue / Take Me In – Hayley Kiyoko

Hayley Kiyoko is the pop star America needs.

34. It’s a Shame – First Aid Kit

A mediocre song can often be saved by a great chorus. This is one of the rare songs that works in the opposite direction. There’s barely a chorus to speak of, and what is there feels a touch underthought and underworked. But the verses are just so pure and so bright that it doesn’t really matter.

33. Doesn’t Matter – Christine and the Queens

A pop masterpiece about the experience of existential doubt, and the status of feminine life in a universe that makes their very existence precarious.

32. Ginger Lizard – opiuo

A ridiculously catchy song, which feels like it should be playing at 3:30 in the morning in some New Orleans funk joint, with a bunch of sweaty bodies moving in unison.

31. Forte – Zoe Keating

This song makes me feel the way I feel when I go to the airport to pick up a loved one that I haven’t seen in far too long. And the moment around 1:25 when the strings swell is when they turn the corner and your eyes meet and you both break out into uncontrollable smiles.

30. Missing U – Robyn

I love that Robyn made the sort of record that she did, which is complex and interesting and wonderful. That said, I can’t help but selfishly wish she’d made an album that bopped a little bit more. As it ended up, I respected Honey a lot more than I actually listened to it. With this song being the significant exception.

29. Miles Away – Josh Ritter

While we’re waiting on the next full length – which sounds like it’s going to be a great one – this is a lovely standalone track. A beautifully simple piano line provides the structure for Ritter to reflect on the distance between us, and the tiny gestures we make to try and reach across that void.

28. Trapper Man – Mark Knopfler

In my 11th grade American literature class, we watched the classic miniseries Centennial–26 hours detailing the history of a spot on the South Platte on the plains of Colorado, from the time before the arrival of Europeans right up until the present day. It was a formative experience for me, and went a long way to explaining my love for American history ever since. Trapper Man feels like a time capsule of the sort you get from Centennial: a story of a man living life on the edges of civilization…and the ways in which that civilization inevitably profits from even those who seek to escape it.

27. Dark Spring – Beach House

I had no idea that what I needed from Beach House in 2018 was a dark and stormy shoegaze number, but I’m certainly glad that it’s what we got.

26. Black Waves / Silver Moon – Phosphorescent

Voyager 1 was launched in 1977. In late 2012, it reached the interstellar medium. Eventually, its systems will shut down and we will lose contact with it. But it won’t stop moving. Its long, cold journey will continue down through the eons, as it moves achingly slow out into the galaxy. Waiting for the day, the infinitesimally unlikely day, when someone, somewhere, might discover it. And wonder where it came from.

25. Django Jane – Janelle Monáe

Every track on Dirty Computer has its partisans. For me, Django Jane is the best track. It’s an anthem which is both intensely personal and completely universal. But its universality is very much on her terms. In describing her own experiences, she invites the listener to see themselves through her eyes, and in that mirroring to understand the ways in which unthinking calls to solidarity often quickly strip away the specific–particularly when that specific form is black, queer, female.

24. Future Me Hates Me – The Beths

Pretty much a perfect power pop song about the classic subject of falling in love, but here the focus is entirely on the heartbreaks and trauma it’s almost certainly going to provoke. There’s something delightful about that.

23. What’s The Deal With David? – Oh Pep!

A glorious slice of indie pop, ready to warm your soul and soothe your fraying heart. The engine of the song is a rollicking little bass line, which is then surrounded by a waterfall of ringing notes. Add in some wonderful vocal harmonies, and what’s quite possibly the year’s most infectious chorus, and the whole thing glitters like a rainbow peaking out after the storm.

22. Rear View – GABBY’S WORLD

Formerly going under the name Eskimeaux, Gabrielle Smith changed the name to Gabby’s World, but the music is very much the same. Simple structures layered on top of one another to produce songs that feel like they’re dancing across whitewater rapids–constantly on the very of capsizing but still managing to (just about) stay afloat.

21. Best Years of My Life – Pistol Annies

It felt impossible to pick a single song from Pistol Annies, who quite literally had seven or eight songs I seriously considered here. But at the end of the day I went with Best Years of My Life, because it’s the one that most perfectly combines the two themes from their record: soul-crushing sadness and wry perseverance. There are songs on the album that make me cry, and others that make me smile. This one does both.

20. Your Song – Rita Ora

Technically this is from 2017 but despite being a huge smash last summer, I never really gave it any attention until the full album came out this year.  The key to the song is the slight catch in her voice – which communicates a powerful impulse to flee. The lyrics tell a story of someone who’s more than a little blindsided to find herself falling in love, which could come off as a bit trite. But Ora completely sells it.

19. Waste (feat. Lady Chann) – Lily Allen

My favorite Lily Allen song in the better part of a decade. It springs from the same blending of reggae and pop that has served her well in the past, but the production is brighter here, and the addition of Lady Chann in the final minute is the match that’s needed to get the fire truly started.

18. Up From Below – Remember Sports

Imagine someone riding a unicycle atop a high wire, while juggling six balls, which are all on fire. That’s what this song sounds like. Except imagine they’re going about 150 miles per hour.

17. Driving – Grouper

I don’t know what this song is about, but I’m certain it’s the most important and most beautiful thing in the world. That’s how I feel about every Grouper song, really, but this one is particularly piercing.

16. Lost (feat. Chelsea Jade) – Jai Wolf

A song that manages to simultaneously feel dreamy and anthemic, it’s a call to the dancefloor for those who feel adrift in the world and desperately want to feel the connection and joy that music can bring.

15. Fight – Vanessa Peters

That moment you gather together your resolve, pick yourself up off the floor, and take that next step. You know it won’t be easy. You know the rewards will be far away, if they ever come at all. But you simply decide “this moment, right here, I will be my better self.”

14. Ganja Burn – Nicki Minaj

This almost certainly isn’t the *best* song from Queen, but it’s without a doubt my favorite. I’ve always enjoyed Nicki Minaj most when she was bulldozing through a pop song with some high octane rapping, and this is a nice variant–more chill, but still viciously delivered.

13. Now or Never Now – Metric

I didn’t love much on the new Metric album, but this song was a massive exception. It’s right up there with the best that Emily Haines has ever produced. A song so big that to call it an anthem feels like a decent understatement. And still, for all that, it isn’t really a song about climaxes, but rather about a measured, persistent demand: to live forever or die in the attempt.

12. No Tears Left to Cry – Ariana Grande

2018 was the year of Ariana Grande, and I don’t know how anyone could feel anything but joy for her. To have gone through so much, and to have emerged on the other side with this kind of giving spirit is astonishing. Thank U, Next was the song that finally took her to #1, and it’s a great song, but this was the one that hit me hardest in the feelings.

11. Heart To Break – Kim Petras

That feeling when you watch a magician do a trick over and over, and you know that it’s just sleight-of-hand and anyone could learn how to do it with enough practice, but it just doesn’t matter because it’s so unbelievably delightful. This song feels like it could have been designed in some Swedish pop laboratory to produce maximum head-bopping, but I do not care even a little bit. Screw authenticity. Give me the sugar.

10. The Mother – Brandi Carlile

I’m not sure she’s written another song as beautiful as this one. Certainly none as likely to bring a tear to your eye. It’s a love letter to her daughter, one framed by a bracingly honest assessment of what it actually means to become a parent.

9. Still Life (Audiotree) – Katie Ellen

The studio version is good. This version absolutely kills me. The bit when her voice just slightly starts to break at 1:59…pure shivers.

8. Set It Free – Now, Now

SGL is the best song from the album, but I already included it on my 2017 list, so I’ll go for the second-best, which is almost as good. The unsung hero is the bass, which transforms a shimmery song into a propulsive missile fired directly into your heart.

7. Full Control – Snail Mail

The ingredients are incredibly simple, but as any chef will tell you, trying to cook with simple ingredients is often the most dangerous thing, because there’s absolutely nothing to hide behind. If she didn’t stick the landing, this could all come across as trite. But she absolutely, perfectly does, and so it comes across as god’s own truth.

6. Doom and Gloom – DARK TIMES

“It’s not gonna be alright, it’s not gonna be fine. There’s no silver lining, it’s all doom and gloom.” It is certainly a mood.

5. O.M.G. (I’m All Over It) – Jenn Champion

Probably my favorite song from Jenn Champion, which is really saying something considering her contributions to one of my all-time favorite bands. But this sounds very little like her stripped down heartsick songs with Carissa’s Weird. Instead, it’s a velvet-smooth synth pop classic.

4. Demon and Division – Alkaline Trio

Twenty years into their career, and I suddenly have a new favorite Alkaline Trio song. That heavy bass! The vocal interplay! The bridge from Andriano that drops in toward the end and amps up the energy to another level!

3. Rainbow – Kacey Musgraves

In a year with plenty of tear-jerkers, I think this may be the one that hit me the hardest. It’s such an impossibly simple song, but there is so much beauty in that simplicity. When she sings it, you can believe it. Maybe it really will be alright.

2. The Opener – CAMP COPE

Equal parts rage and joy. Rage at a world of blatant injustice, filled with men who are utterly incapable of grasping the privileges they wield. But also joy: at the sheer audacity of creation and the righteous noise they can make. It would be a great song for any era, but feels absolutely essential in 2018.

1. Prodigal Dog – Hilary Woods

It seems insufficient to describe this song as haunting. It weaves itself around you, whispering promises of a world beyond our own. And if you tilt your head just right, you can almost see the veil between realities shimmering in the light. What lies on the other side? Do we dare to step across? That way lies madness…but also maybe redemption?

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50 songs for 50 states: Oklahoma

Choctaw Bingo is a sort of Canterbury Tales for the 21st century. It documents the many visitors arriving for a family reunion up at Uncle Slayton’s place. Over eight-plus minutes, it rides a biting rootsy rock guitar riff through a highly disconcerting eight-minute trek into the heart of the “North Texas-Southern Oklahoma Crystal Methamphetamine Industry.”

Slayton himself is an old distiller who has turned to making crystal meth now that the market for bathtub whiskey has dried up, who cuts up plots of land and sells them to those desperate for a little piece of the world to call their own. All because he knows that they’ll never be able to make the payments, so he’ll be able to take it all right back. Then there’s Roscoe, Slayton’s son, who drives a semi truck and tries (but not very hard) to avoid flattening a car that runs a red light in front of him. There’s Bob, who coaches high school football, and who loads up on heavy weaponry on his way into town. And we can’t forget Ruth Anne and Lynn – the narrator’s second cousins about whom he’s had some detailed fantasies that he’s more than willing to share

It’s a song about addiction – to drugs, to money, to guns, to sex, to football, to whatever can take the edge off a life that seems to have passed you by – and the way it feels to ride the wave of the crash. It’s a testament to the power of the patriarch, the queasy sense of disgust and fascination that he provokes. It’s a reminder of just how deep our guilt runs, and just how blind to it we make ourselves, just how careless we insist on being, because to look it square in the face, even for one second, would bring everything crashing down.

It’s only there in the margins, in the way ‘Choctaw bingo’ shows up twice in the eight-minute narrative. To remind us of what Oklahoma actually is: a barren patch of land carved out for the ‘relocation’ of Indian tribes. Which now contains the clashing cultures of Uncle Slayton, his Asian bride, his hard-partying and hard-fighting family, and the Indian tribe that claws back one-millionth of the debt owed to them, by drawing them all into their casinos.

There is no redemption here, no joy. There is just the bare margins that everyone can scrape off one another, and the recognition that we are all deeply compromised.

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50 songs for 50 states: Ohio

After some slim pickings last time, the options are bountiful here. Just look at the songs with the title “Ohio.” You’ve got CSNY’s response to the Kent State massacre, Modest Mouse’s off-kilter take on traveling the highways across the nation, and Damien Jurado’s story of homesickness and longing. Then consider “Look at Miss Ohio,” a smoldering Gillian Welch song, also performed beautifully by Miranda Lambert. Or the twangy, jangly goodness of R.E.M’s “Cuyahoga.” Or the breathtaking “Bloodbuzz Ohio” from The National, one of my favorite songs of the last decade, which only doesn’t get the pick here because it’s a little too abstract, and because there’s an even better pick.

“Youngstown” is one of the quintessential Springsteen songs. The acoustic version of this song is fine. But it doesn’t really convey the feel of the place. Here, with dirty guitars and an ominous, looming sense of menace, is the real Youngstown. The history just seeps out of it like a thick sap. And the anger is evident in his snarl.

And, like all things Springsteen, of course this is nostalgia. It’s not meant as a political treatise on the political economy of coal, nor is it a demand for the restoration of a city that is gone forever. It’s just the expression of a palpable frustration. And it’s a call for us to exercise our memory, to recognize those who have been left behind in this brave new world. It’s all too easy to just cast them aside as the detritus of progress. But everything we are now depends on the sweat and the blood and the pain of those who came before.

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50 songs for 50 states: North Dakota

I’ve been dreading North Dakota for awhile now, hoping that I’d be able to turn something up. I’ve searched Spotify lists of songs with Dakota in the title, trolled lists of ‘great North Dakota songs,’ and cast about fruitlessly on social media.

I never expected that every state would produce an all-time classic, or anything, but my standard has always been that I had to pick a topical song I genuinely liked. And, well, North Dakota is where the well finally ran dry.

Lyle Lovett’s “North Dakota” (which is actually about the Texas borderlands) is fine, but not much more. Sinatra has a song about a girl in ‘North and South Dakota,’ which is at least 50% on the mark. Nanci Griffith wrote a treacly song about hope and change in the wake of Obama’s election that mentions ‘the plains of North Dakota.’ Dolly Parton has a song about getting away from the cold. And…that’s about it?

And so, I’m going with this lovely Ashley Monroe tune, which is only tangentially about North Dakota (which, again, features primarily as something to be escaped). But at least it’s a beautiful song.

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50 songs for 50 states: North Carolina

There’s a surprisingly rich vein of North Carolina songs, particularly given how sparse the options are for their similarly-named neighbor to the south. Especially since the vast majority of ‘Carolina’ songs are really about the northern version.

You can start with the persistent earworm of Wagon Wheel (“Heading down south to the land of the pines / I’m thumbing my way into North Caroline), continue with one of Ryan Adams’ loveliest ballads (“Oh my sweet Carolina / What compels me to go?), and then join Sonic Youth for a tale of a bookstore owner inChapel Hill who was murdered (for his radical politics?).

But there was only ever going to be one pick here. Taylor wrote it while he was off in old England, one of the first signees to the new Apple record label, hoping to make good on that incredible opportunity. When he sings, “with a holy host of others standing around me” he’s literally talking about the Beatles, who were busy recording the White Album just down the hall. Paul and George even contribute to the original recording of the song.

Ultimately, it’s a song about homesickness. The literal homesickness of being an ocean away from everything familiar and comfortable. But also the deeper anxiety that arises when you’re taking your first big step toward greatness, when you’re filled with worry about what you might be leaving behind. It’s a song full of hope: that you might still find a way to stitch together your past and your future, to hold onto what you love, without being trapped by it.

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