A Love This True – Jamie Anderson
The Gay Marriage Song – Addie Brownlee
Taxi Ride – Tori Amos
In Or Out – Ani Difranco
Ban Marriage – The Hidden Cameras
Never Getting Married – Roy
(Many of these songs are from the great resource Queer Music Heritage. Head over there to hear a ton more.)
A lot of news about marriage equality these days. The new Democratic government in New Hampshire has got its act together and passed a civil unions bill. The governor of New York is lending his support to civil unions. Washington has passed a law giving domestic partnerships.
This raises questions for me about the effect of gay marriage on politics, both in terms of the coming campaign and in a more long-term sense. Is gay marriage going to be a wedge issue used against the Democrats? Will any Democratic candidate get a backbone and call out those against civil unions for their bigotry? And how do the various Democratic candidates feel about civil unions? How long will it be before a serious presidential candidate decries the whole enterprise and makes the very simple point that being gay doesn’t make you any less a person than someone else, meaning if anyone is allowed to get married, gay people should, too?
I dug around a little and so far have only seen a reaction to the New Hampshire decision from Clinton: “New Hampshire has a long history of protecting its citizens from discrimination…I would like to commend Governor Lynch and the New Hampshire Legislature for their commitment and support for the civil rights of gays and lesbians.”
I would imagine the other candidates would say much the same, though I am curious to see whether they initiate the discussion.
How important of an issue is this for people? It’s certainly not a litmus test for me, but I have to say that, as a tentative Obama supporter, his tepid stance on gay rights and his inability to quickly respond to “is homosexuality immoral?” with a simple “no, don’t be ridiculous” make me a bit leery. Obviously, there is more to politics than equality for gays, but it seems to be an important site for Democrats to change the cultural debate. If they’re not willing to respond to deliberate and unambiguous discrimination against a class of people, and do not think America can be persuaded on this point, I think it says problematic things about their whole campaign.
I believe in pragmatic politics, but I also believe that pragmatism does not mean compromising basic ideals. I have a tough time with gay marriage because every major candidate lends a great deal of support to what I consider an offensive position. At the same time, I don’t think there’s much chance that a Democrat could win right now if he or she came out in support of gay marriage – at the very least, it would be a major liability for the campaign. And while civil unions do compromise on the basic principle of equality, they at least do so in a way that paves the way for a more broad-based eventual change.
I can say that a determining issue for me might very well be whether the candidates are so scared of gayness that they succumb to the conventional wisdom and run from this issue. I do not demand a politically untenable fight, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for the candidates to lend some much-needed support (and attention) to the struggle for civil unions. Change takes time, but it has to start somewhere. And if not here, then where?
I have trouble with the conventional wisdom that gay marriage is a “third rail” issue best left untouched for fear it will help Republicans. I firmly believe that this is a place where history, and basic human decency, is on our side. Just as anti-miscegenation laws are inconceivable to us now, at some point in the future people will be astonished at the way we excluded an entire class of people from participating in a cultural and social institution premised on love and inclusion.
Society is changing, albeit slowly, but soon such discrimination will be beyond the pale of acceptable discourse, which won’t stop the Republican Party from holding onto outdated ideas. The days of gay marriage as debilitating for the Democrats will be over, and the reverse will quickly become true. People who no longer consider such bigotry acceptable will be disgusted to find that the conservative elements of politics hang onto it much longer.
However, a big part of this change relies on Democrats being willing to take a risk, to stand up for equality now when the lines are so clear. This is a chance to come down firmly on a side that will be vindicated by history. More than that, it’s an opportunity to change the tone of the debate. As long as Democrats, liberals, and progressives run from the issue, people never are challenged on their views – the idea that people are somehow less members of our society because of who they fall in love with is permitted to fester. For most this is not because they are bad people, hateful, or bigoted – it’s simply that few efforts have been made to shine a light here, to make it clear the damage that is done, and to force people to think long and deep about why they feel as they do.
No one is going to change overnight, and there will continue to be those who find homosexuality immoral for a long, long time. But as time goes on, even many of those will decide that, immoral or not, it does not make someone less a human being. And many, many more will shed the beliefs of past generations and move into a more just and tolerant future.